Les Deux Salons has been open almost exactly two years, which I mused before the meal, should have given them time to iron out those wrinkles that go with a new restaurant opening; sadly it seems those wrinkles have become giant folds. When Les Deux Salons opened, it it was something of a blogger sensation, though in it's second year, it managed to muster just half a dozen new blog reviews, the bloggers having moved on to shinier things. Attracted by their Sunday brunch menu served throughout the day, after two years of meaning to go, we finally made it.

The gentleman on the welcome desk was charming and showed me to my seat, but after that, nothing, I was ignored for almost 10 minutes. Waiters were even setting the table next to me but alas, not a menu or the offer of a drink to be had. Finally, in this game of 'how long can they ignore me before I complain' chicken, a waiter arrived. Being the Sunday brunch menu, there's a 'Roast of the Day' and when I asked the waitress who brought the bread over what it was, she had to check her note pad to read out that it was rib of beef and Yorkshire pudding. I resisted the temptation to ask her what a Yorkshire pudding was which would have almost certainly elicited the response, 'I'll have to check with the kitchen'.

For the starter, it was omelette Arnold Bennett, and when it came, it was a disaster. Almost every description I can find of an omelette Arnold Bennett uses the word fluffy in it, I have yet to find one that uses the terms rubbery, chewy or pallid. This didn't feel like an omelette Arnold Bennett, this felt like a badly made cheddar cheese omelette into which they added some smoked haddock. In the pictures below, I compare the one put in front of me today (on the left) with a correctly made one at The Hand & Flowers (on the right), I'll leave it to readers to spot the difference. When my waiter asked how it was and I pointed out its overcooked rubbery texture, he didn't really know what to do with the comment, so did nothing with it.

Would they redeem themselves with the main? No. To be fair, the beef was not bad, but the Yorkshire pudding and the potatoes were also chewy. The potatoes had that waxy enduring skin to them, and absolutely no crunch. And on the Yorkshire pud, I've had better examples from Aunt Bessie's in the frozen section of supermarkets. As with the roasties, I almost got white knuckles trying to cut it, as you might if you tried to cut well chewed bubblegum with a knife and fork. 

Finally, what do they have against gravy? Such a meagre portion; the table next to me asked the waiter for an addition jug of it. I thought I should too but instead, I decided to persevere and eat it how the chef served it; stupid me. They scored the double then: chewy, and dry.

There was no point in dessert. I wondered if anyone tastes these dishes. I actually hope the answer is no because if the answer is yes, and they believe that's acceptable, the situation is even more dire than it seems. This was a terrible meal, and I felt, an utter waste of my time and money. Maybe the weekday menu is served more competently than the Sunday brunch menu, let's hope so (for them), because if not, I can't imagine Les Deux Salons surviving another two years.  


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