According to M-theory, space time has 11 dimensions in total and it is quite possible that Johnnie Mountain inhabits them all. To borrow a line from Martin Amis, 'it could never happen to me' is the sort of remark that Johnnie Mountain will never have cause to utter. Spend just a few minutes talking to him and you realise that everything has happened to Johnnie, often twice. And while the dust jacket of Kitchen Confidential might be graced with the words 'After twenty five years of "sex, drugs, bad behaviour and haute cuisine" chef and novelist Anthony Bourdain has decided to tell all', you can't help but feel that compared to Johnnie Mountain, Bourdain is, excuse the language, a pussy, and should the two ever have got together for a night out, Mountain (in his heyday) would be leaving Bourdain's exhausted unconscious body in dumpster somewhere before moving on to the next bar for his next drink. 

But like the stream in Heraclitus's maxim, Johnnie is always changing and having almost burned down one of his own restaurants by leaving the pizza oven on in let us call it 'a lively moment', you are now as likely to find Johnnie as a life coach on the TV program Make Me Happy: helping a man who swapped an addiction to alcohol for fast food and takeaways, amusing the great British public on the Great British Menu, and popping up in local schools (without a TV camera or PR agent following him) to educate children about nutrition. His business card simply says 'cook' and he probably has a hair shirt in his wardrobe too, but with his wild(er) days behind him, he's now a businessman, restaurateur, entrepreneur and raconteur and there is simply no better way to kick off our series of Chef dinners than to have Johnnie Mountain open the proceedings. And like our guests tonight, our body chemistry is mixing a potent cocktail of excitement and fear, for this is, after all, Johnnie Mountain, live and unleashed.

As he starts his prep, Johnnie points out that his day started at 6am on the 6th day of the 6th month, we hope it's not portentous. Joining Johnnie in the kitchen today is Chef Tom Kneale, JM's Head Chef from The English Pig and it might surprise some to know that the atmosphere in the kitchen is calm and relaxed and remains so throughout the night.

Guests start arriving around 7pm and like at our Jason Atherton dinner party earlier in the year, they are mostly drawn from Twitter. Accordingly, few people in the room really know each other, though the socialising effects of a glass of Dom Perignon Rose and the appearance of Johnnie Mountain soon brings a buzz to the room. Canapes start the procession of food for the evening and Johnnie presents a tray of vegetable purees including white onion, red pepper and beetroot; he grins as he tells us that this will be the sole contribution of vegetables to the evening, hereafter, it's pork. And he's not joking.

The first three courses to be served Johnnie announces are broadly 'normal' after which he tells the now seated guests that things will 'get a bit mental'. First out the kitchen then are two one metre long trays of layered Iberico 'Bellota' Ham with Cornichon & Gruyere Beignets. The theme of Great British Menu this year was, as most will know, a 'people's banquet' of sharing plates and the influences seem to have carried through. Also following Johnnie too from GBM was pulled sugar which was delightfully playful. Johnnie tells us that in his opinion, the Bellota ham is the very best there is and few after tasting it feel inclined to disagree. The Bellota website notes that 'such is the quality of [the Bellota pig's] life that it is known as the "aristocrat" of the world's porcine species'.

Wines tonight have been paired by Tom Harrow, also known as @WinechapUK and while Tom was not able to join us, he sent in his absence five brilliant video clips introducing his wine choices. These can be found at the relevant points in the blog post below. With the ham then we started with a wonderful Inocente Fino sherry.

Johnnie describes the next dish as a classic but 'we've changed it a bit': Pea, Leek & Knuckle soup. Cooking off the smoked ham hocks in a mirepoix, the hocks are then removed and shredded, the stock is reduced down to form the base of the soup. Leeks, peas and the stock are added together that morning, 'blitzed' (JM's word) and reduced down but still left with texture, and then with the shredded ham hocks placed in the bottom of the bowl, the soup is added on top and served with apple toast and capers. Many thought this was one of the most 'complex' soups they'd tasted. The table's already won over by Johnnie's food and the mood is one of feverish anticipation of what's to come.

While printed up as Jubugo Roasted Tenderloin, Johnnie tells the table that he wasn't happy with the quality of the day's delivery and instead therefore we have Gloucester Old Spot though it bothers no one. It's served with 'Mustard Onions' or as it may be considered, a wet picalilli, the onions being brined for three days and then a mustard vinegar sweet and sour dressing folded through them, and then the dish dressed with both dried pancetta and dust. Still in the 'normal camp', Johnnie describes it as a real pork dish with big contrasting flavours, and so it is. The mustard onions come in for particular praise (more best evers) though it is all totally first class.

It's a palate cleanser next (of sorts): an apple sorbet but on top of this, bacon dust has been added and there's shreds of sweet smoked bacon in the dish too. It launches a peculiar cycle of eating: the initial sharp freshness of the iced apple gives way to salty bacon dust but the sweet fat of the bacon then coats your mouth leaving you to crave another cleansing mouthful of the iced apple. And so the cycle goes.

Excitement surrounds the next dish, Johnnie's excited, we're excited: 38 hour 'deconstructed' Gloucester Belly with Boudin Noir, Carrot and Leeks. After the slow cooking, the layers of the belly are taken apart stripping out layers of fat, before it is relayered, the brown meat that is closer to the rib being sandwiched between the top layer of white meat with black pudding, carrots, cabbage, leek, onion and garlic also in the sandwich mix. On top of this is crackling.

This is now a pork lover's dream, pork belly, tenderly cooked, tenderly reconstructed, wonderfully enhanced, our only fear is that we know this is not even the main course! So much beautiful food.

Braised cheeks with Trotter Jam arrives, elegantly presented in a triple bowl serving plate. Wanting to use the pig's head meat but getting away from simply brawn, JM's using the 'best fibres' of the animal around the cheeks, slow cooked and shredded. And feeling that the trotter had a sticky jammy texture, trotter jam seemed the logical extension for JM: shredded trotters reduced with sugar. This was all served with bread and pancetta. The cheeks were excellent, rich and the jam like a sweet pork marmalade where the orange shred is replaced by shred of trotter. Brilliant.

Next is the dish that has had our guests worried for weeks - Brains Millefeuile. Despite having put it on the menu, JM only tasted the brains himself for the first time today so this was very much a dish created in the minds eye/palate of the chef. With real theatre, the brains arrive at the table on a meat cleaver, two per cleaver; we pray for no sudden movements from our guests as the waiters pass the cleavers at neck level between guests on the way to the table, fortunately there was none.

JM was also understanding offering a free pass to anyone who didn't want to go quite so far as to eat brain but to all our guest's credit, everyone did. It was actually quite nice and had the texture of warm pan fried foie gras though a little more meaty, so that wasn't so bad, but as you cut into it, it looked like what you imagine brain to look like so giving you a constant reminder of what you were actually eating. The brains were in fact lambs brains (pigs brains not available on the day) rolled in bacon dust, pan fried and served with balsamic onions. Everyone coped admirably well. 

The last of the main courses on the menu was written simply as 'sticky ribs' which is enough to look forward to in its own right but no one expected what then came out of the kitchen - the ultimate sharing platter. Watch the video below.

No one around the table had ever seen anything like this before in their lives, everyone burst into a spontaneous round of applause and then the room lit up with flash bulbs. This was food theatre at its very best. There's huge amounts of laughter, cheering, just sheer delight. This is unique.

To quote Johnnie Mountain on the night 'sticky ribs to me can be lots and lots of different things, but we've gone a few steps further'. You can say that again. The tray was at least four foot long, an adult male pig's head graced the centre, a suckling pigs head graced the top corner. The whole tray was covered in dark sticky meat and bones. There's more applause.

There's also beef on this particular platter, beef ribs, the front ones, the big ones, these are the size of a cricket bat, they've been cooked for one and a half days, roasted whole, the meat falls off the bone. There's some suckling pig of course, around three months old, providing a confit haunch, the back legs, the front shoulders, all slow cooked for about three hours. Then the the baby ribs are added and cooking continues for about an hour and a half. 

Then, in JM's highly accurate words, there was 'a shit load of pork belly'. We earlier had the slow cooked deconstructed belly, well, to make that JM took delivery of two whole pork bellies, taking the ribs from these, he (for the very first time) tried his hand at dry rub, taking spices and doing just what he thought might work, he then roasted them off. Deglazing the pan with Aspall Cyder and Coca Cola, so JM's sticky ribs made their debut. JM's own recipe BBQ sauce also made its debut alongside the ribs.

So much meat, so fantastic, so brilliant, and everyone so full which seemed such a shame in many ways because there was meat left over and we all felt compelled to eat it but couldn't. Totally full, Mr Creosote full, the board finally left the table and everyone knew they had just experienced something very special.

And so it was to dessert though most people were really struggling following the preceding meatfest. Fortunately, the dessert wasn't over bearing but it was interesting. The Chocolate Plant Pot, we had a chocolate fondant with chocolate soil and a strawberry on top. It was due to come with bacon ice cream but ultimately the chef wasn't happy enough to send this out but it mattered little, most were already excessively full. The dessert had changed from the first draft menu on which winechap's pairing was based but we have left the video segment in for your viewing pleasure.

Cheese and biscuits did arrive at the table to round out the meal but almost none was consumed, we were happily defeated.

With the eating over, there were three things left to do. First, break out a bottle of the heavenly Glenfarclas 21 year old whisky. Second, have guests participate in a lucky dip to receive an absolutely stunning Porsche type 301 knife from UK distributors Chroma Knives. And third, support Action Against Hunger where we are pleased to say, thanks to the generosity of our guests, the dinner raised a substantial amount of money.

As everyone in the group gave their reflections on the meal, there was consistent overlaps of descriptions: stunning, amazing, brilliant, joyful, unique and all their synonyms. Everybody appreciated too just how much hard work went into this meal by Chef Johnnie Mountain and Chef Tom Kneale; in a world where everybody is busy, they are fully deserving of everyone's gratitude for giving so much and asking so little in return. Our thanks too to Manjri and Richard who looked after front of house so well and who helped make the evening yet more enjoyable beyond the food.

Unique is a much over used word these days and is too often incorrectly qualified as 'quite unique', but everyone around the table was in no doubt that they had indeed experienced a unique meal, one that could never be made available in a restaurant and one that needed dedicated, passionate and brilliant chefs to pull off. The aim of launching the Chef Dinners series was to go in search of just such a unique eating adventure and that's exactly what Johnnie and Tom delivered today: we're in awe of their achievement.

Johnnie can be followed on Twitter: @JohnnieWannabe

Tom can be followed on Twitter: @Chef_Tom_Kneale

And of course, their cooking can be sampled daily at the brilliant The English Pig restaurant which if you haven't been, is undoubtedly worth a trip.  


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