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Five Guys (sat on my burger)

14/7/2013

12 Comments

 
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If Five Guys, together with Shake Shack, are supposed to be the best new burger chains the US has to offer, the UK independents, who can only have suffered trepidation ahead of their opening in London, are no doubt sleeping easier in their beds this week than they ever imagined possible. Like Shake Shack, the results at Five Guys are, in our opinion, entirely disappointing, and having tried it, we can't imagine that we would return. 

There are some really great burgers these days in London yet Five Guys feels to us another instance of clever marketing over a decent product. The menu has a section dedicated to media quotes saying how great Five Guys is, the walls are decorated with more quotes (or possibly the same quotes) telling you how great Five Guys is: they clearly don't believe in the old literary rule of 'show don't tell'. The problem is however that after all these quotes pumping up the product, the final outcome seems even more disappointing as a result. Clearly they don't believe in managing expectations either.  More likely though, they actually believe it and we understand that they are rolling out Five Guys across the UK over the course of the year so soon, regardless of where you are, you'll be able to decide for yourself.

The menu here is simpler than Shake Shack, there's not even a milk shake on it, instead, it's just burgers, a couple of veggie sandwiches, fries and drinks. Burgers can be 'little' or 'regular' but even this somewhat fooled us. Expecting the 'little cheeseburger' to be a slider or something similar, it turns out that 'little' is what we would call normal (or a single patty burger) and their regular hamburger is actually a double patty affair. I presume this is a quirk that every Five Guys fan knows and loves, but we felt it was a typical corporate mugging to get the first time customer (currently about 58 million Brits) to spend several quid more than they would if they actually understood what they were actually ordering (nowhere did we see it explained). The result is that while Five Guys appears to be a premium priced burger compared to Shake Shack, it actually costs only a little more. Single Shake Shack cheeseburger, £4.75, Five Guys 'Little cheeseburger' £5.50. Shake Shack double cheeseburger £7.25, Five Guys regular (read double) cheeseburger £8.

When you collect, the burgers wrapped in foil go in the bag, so does a styrofoam cup of fries, and then a second tray of fries is emptied on top, worth knowing when you ravenously tear open the bag at your table. On the subject of the fries, they felt tired though given how busy it is, they couldn't possibly be old, surely, but they lacked crunch and presence and we couldn't have eaten more than ten between us.

When I opened my burger, I was shocked, it looked like five guys had sat on it before they wrapped it and served it to me. This mostly seems the norm though (looking at other bloggers' photos also), meaning that the bun is compact and dense, not airy and fluffy. I'm immediately put off. The patties have something on Shake Shack's however, with texture and flavour so it's overall a better burger. It's still not great however. And look, clearly the double burger is Five Guys signature thing, but it's harder to cook two thin burgers well than a single plump one. With a dense roll also, at the half way stage, it simply felt like hard work rather than something enjoyable. Relief washed over me as I decided not to finish the final third. It felt like just another corporate burger, lacking the love that is so readily apparent in owner driven outlets like Patty & Bun.

There are no desserts here, so that's it. We headed home with a sense of disbelief, is this really what all the fuss is about? Clearly Five Guys is a big thing in America but if the offering here is comparable to there, the UK has bought into a fantasy that the US is some kind of burger utopia when in reality, we're already doing it better right here. As we strolled back, we put the question out there: between Shake Shack, Five Guys and McDonalds, which would you go to (if you had to). The answer: whichever is closest.
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red is the corporate colour at Five Guys
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all food is served in a bag, extra fries are thrown on top for good measure
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regular cheeseburger, giving the impression of being somewhat flattened
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the 'Little Cheeseburger' is actually a normal sized cheeseburger
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inside the bun
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back to the other cheeseburger: even with a doubly patty, it's only the height of a few stacked up fries
Five Guys Burgers & Fries on Urbanspoon
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12 Comments
Paul
14/7/2013 04:49:09 pm

I cant say that I was impressed by 5 guys or Shake Shack, and considering that Meat Market is only a stones throw away from both these restaurants why would you try there offerings when you can have a Dead Hippie burger or two instead

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TCC
14/7/2013 04:51:36 pm

you summed it up well

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@foodandfrets link
15/7/2013 06:24:21 am

I've been to so many places looking for a good burger and always leave disappointed! Along with a full English it seems to be one best done at home!

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Will Forrest
15/7/2013 06:48:56 am

Can't believe those people are queuing to get in there. Pity they couldn't see your pictures first. Reminds me of Whataburger in Texas for unpalatable looking junk. 2am, miles from anywhere else and starving, you might - but personally I'd rather chew on my boots...

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joBize.me link
17/7/2013 01:12:12 pm

Completely agree with you foodandfrets ! Best burgers are homemade ones !

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Annette
17/7/2013 01:47:18 pm

I am not sure why the London food blogs are abuzz about Five Guys, which, where I am from (Birmingham, Alabama, USA), is simply another place to get a quick, greasy, and not particularly satisfying meal at the local shoppiong mall on your lunch break. I would not say that Five Guys is a big thing in America, at all.

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Annette
17/7/2013 01:48:59 pm

*shopping -- drat this new keyboard!

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TCC
17/7/2013 01:58:58 pm

indeed, we're not sure either. we woke up one morning and it was all the (London) food world was talking about. guess it's just the new shiny thing during a period in which London foodies have a mild burger obsession. in two weeks time, pretty sure it will be no big deal.

TCC
17/7/2013 01:59:26 pm

and thanks for the comment

Alan Spedding ( cumbriafoodie ) link
26/7/2013 12:03:11 am

O.M.G.... Those bread buns , absolutely horrendous...no excuse.
When you compare those to the butter Brioche buns and the burgers at SoLITA they`re worlds apart.

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Wrap Your Lips Around This link
30/7/2013 04:51:02 pm

Wow, those burgers look pretty gruesome, like walking into some kind of autopsy with a knife and fork. Thanks for the review, I had heard the hype around it but now will give them a wide berth :) Bar Boloud have quite nice burgers.

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LiquidShaDow link
3/11/2018 07:42:37 am

Well, this comment came 5 years after the blog entry was done but, it didn't look quite as bad when I had them in Manhattan (https://smallpotatoesmakethesteaklookbigger.blogspot.com/2018/04/five-guys-midtown-manhanttan-nyc.html). There was even milkshakes. I enjoyed it as I would fast food.

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